I realized the other day that I haven’t posted to any social media platforms in almost 2 months.
This isn’t really a big deal, but it made me pause because I never made a conscious decision to go on any kind of hiatus. I didn’t go on any kind of intentional “digital fast” or suddenly boycott technology.
I just didn’t feel like posting. So I didn’t.
And then I sort of forgot about it.
We went to Vancouver for a long weekend so Justin could run a 50K trail race. I took some fun videos and photos with my phone intending to post them later, but ended up getting caught up reading a good book instead. Then I forgot about posting them.
We sat on the tailgate alongside the Skagit River in North Cascades National Park and ate lunch and made plans. But I was busy dreaming about our future and holding Justin’s hand, so I forgot to take photos and posting about it slipped my mind.
We flew to New Hampshire and hugged family we haven’t seen for a year. I went to New Jersey and photographed clients and had long conversations with dear friends and strolled along the banks of the Delaware River in a town where my family once had deep roots. I meant to post, but I could never quite bring myself to step out of the moment I was in, so I didn’t.
In the last two months, we’ve done some major renovations to my Dad’s house, run some trails that have come alive with the spring, made some big decisions about our future.
There have been infinite small moments that I might have happily shared had it occurred to me. But it didn’t.
Here’s the thing…just as reaching for my phone can sometimes become a knee-jerk habit, so can NOT reaching for it. It was a habit that just kind of snuck up on me.
We do this all the time.
We develop habits without meaning to, without setting out to develop them. They come as a result of any number of life factors.
Some of them are habits that don’t serve us.
Some of them are habits that do.
When we pause and we notice them, there is so much to be gleaned from where they come from and what they tell us about our state of mind, our current way of living.
I don’t mind social media. I have, over the years, at times loved it, hated it, beaten myself to a bloody pulp with it, and felt indifferent to it. I can feel myself moving back toward being interested in it again, so I suppose I will likely begin posting again in the not-to-distant future.
But the hiatus is telling when I step back and take a good look at it.
I’ve been feeling a call to be quiet these last months. I’ve felt more compelled to listen than to talk. Disinclined toward chatter.
I find myself noticing everything and feeling deeply gratified in the observation, less called to formulate big conclusions or opinions.
It’s been lovely, actually.
More movement is on the way. The longer days prove irresistible and it becomes impossible to not get caught in the current of growth and action, of engagement.
Change is en route and with it, new states of mind.
My friend, Meg, has a wonderful philosophy and hashtag that she uses with Instagram, #LiveInTheMomentAndGramLater, and perhaps I will borrow both the philosophy and the hashtag (with permission of course!) as I ease back into a more active social media presence.
I wonder, though- what habits have snuck up on you?
Have they served you or not? What information do they offer about where you are right now?
Tell me about them…I’m so curious. I can’t be the only one this happens to, can I?