Actual "Self-Care"
Last night, I met up with some friends to eat banh mi sandwiches from the Korean grocery store around the corner and talk excitedly about the heating system they’re installing in their van to allow for more comfy nights spent in ski resort parking lots all winter (yes, a large percentage of my friends live part- or -full-time in vans…yes, it’s a thing…I swear…#vanlife...look it up).
It wasn’t a big night out.
No fancy restaurants. No fancy outfits.
Hell, I’m not sure any of us even showered beforehand.
The whole shindig lasted all of 2 hours. Maybe.
But we hung out and ate sandwiches and laughed a ton.
Then I went home and finished laundry and did some work.
This can be what self-care looks like.
“Self-care” is everyone’s favorite term these days.
I’m definitely guilty of throwing it around (no judgment!).
But it can be worthwhile to occasionally take a step back and make sure we understand what exactly it means and what it really looks like in our real lives.
Because taking care of ourselves is not a catch-phrase, it’s an absolute necessity.
Raise your hand if the words “self-care” elicit images of candlelit bubble baths and long, languid days on a tropical beach?
While both sound just lovely (and they do!), it's a mistake to think of self-care as all grand gestures and big indulgences.
Self-care is actually about how we take care of our bodies, minds, and spirits every day, in the midst of our regular ol’ daily lives.
It’s what makes those daily lives sustainable over the long haul.
So say it with me:
Self-care is not a luxury, it is a day-to-day sustainability practice.
Look, I know you. You’ve got shit to do. A lot of it. And it matters to you.
Self-care is how you can keep doing all of it without having the ticking time bombs of fatigue, burnout, and illness waiting in the wings to derail your efforts.
So. If it’s not all bubble baths and beach vacations, what IS self-care?
At its most basic, self-care is getting your MINIMUMS met: enough sleep, enough good nutrition, enough water, enough exercise, enough of whatever keeps you feeling like an actual human.
It doesn’t always have to be your ideal. Self-care means getting enough of what you need.
Maybe in your dream life, you get 9 hours of sleep every night without fail. Self-care might mean never allowing yourself to get less than 7 or 8.
It can be just sneaking some space, quiet, rest, rejuvenation, or enjoyment into our regular to-dos and obligations.
Here are 10 more ways self-care might look:
A nice, hot shower (seriously, this is my favorite “reset button”).
Turning that song up and singing at the top of your lungs while driving to the grocery store.
Grabbing a latte or cup of tea or a hot chocolate to enjoy on your errand running (or bring it with you from home).
A ten minute walk in the sunshine (or dance party or yoga or whatever makes your blood start flowing again).
Driving in blessed, blessed silence.
A 20-minute phone call with your best friend (or mom, or brother, or whoever that always makes life better)
Reading a novel (or watching a movie, or whatever your favorite brain-candy is).
Listening to music or a favorite podcast or an audiobook while you fold laundry or wait in the pick-up line at school.
Making plans to do something fun- as fancy or low key as you want, but having something to look forward to.
Leaving some beautiful blank space on your calendar.
By all means, grab those bubble baths any time you can, and especially when you know you need them.
Please use up your vacation days.
These are definitely great ways to take care of yourself.
But don’t wait for them.
Don’t wait for some “ideal” scenario in order to take what you need to be whole.
Two weeks of vacation won’t offset 50 weeks of pushing too hard without regard to your well-being.
Self-care is a daily practice done in the midst of our real, everyday lives.
Stay curious out there!